Chapter 4

Buddhist temple, Majnu ka Tilla, Letting go, Let go. Makeup, Style and Sugar, Ankita Bardhan
Buddhist temple, Majnu ka Tilla


Packed narrow streets leading to hip contemporary eateries & clothing stores but you will be pleasantly surprised to find a serene place among the maddening crowd, a temple, shining in all it’s glory. Since it was time for evening prayer rituals, you can hear chants, dhols, shankha, manjira, etc. But among all this you can hear two fainted voices trying to reach to each other, the voice which sounded like a whimper was saying,

“You know as cliche as it sounds, it’s true… it’s true how we realize importance of people until they’re gone. Gone to the point that nothing can bring them back, to the point that they now exist only as a memory. I didn’t know how that annoyingly snobbish lil’ brat who always used to get on my nerves changed my life upside down within seconds. That stupid girl used to never stop yapping how stupid my clothes look, how my hair needs to trimmed, how I always am scared of taking risks… oh God! She seriously was a bossy pain in the a** and look at me how I am trying to complain about her to forget her but these tears won’t stop & I am missing her even more. I just wish.. I just could tell her you know that I really love her & miss her”

A calm smiling voice echoed, ‘It’s ok, I am sure she can hear you’

“No. Stop lying to me. How can she? She’s dead. And she died not knowing how much I love her. My baby sister is gone and dead people cannot see, cannot hear how much they’re being missed.”

‘Yes, I know what being dead means. But trust me, she knows. And don’t you think, she will hate to see you like this?’ she asked

“So what? Even I hate to see her gone but does anyone listens to me? Look I know seeing a grown man shedding tears publicly, getting all worked up, isn’t the prettiest sight. So you can leave. I know everyone here must be thinking what a 20-something guy is doing in a temple.. on a Saturday night.. crying, shouldn’t he be partying right now? Well, I’ve tried it and it’s been a year, but all this drinking & smoking pots didn’t help at all.”

She kept smiling at him & asked, ‘and that is why you came here looking for me?’

“You? No! I am just looking for a lil’ peace. And I not even a religious person but I am just in a dire need of some peace. I just need to talk to my sister & tell her how everything she said makes sense & I am ready to change everything she hated about me if that will make her come back. I know I am being unrealistic but I just really want to go back in time & not let her leave home that day so she never met with an accident… so.. so she will be right here, standing right behind me, trying to irritate me. I know you all will tell me it’s not possible, I know it’s not. But I still am sitting here and praying if she can come back”

After a long pause, she comforts him by softly patting his head, & says, ‘I hear you but listen, hey.. you have to let her go, you have to let go of all the regrets now. You cannot stay like this, you have to do it for her haa, you know you can do it. And just so you know, I know you miss me and I am happy to know that but I want you to be happy bhai & for that you have to let me go’ 

And suddenly her voice sounded so familiar, there was a strange warmth in the air. He looked up & all he could see was the smoke of incense stick everywhere, it’s like she came to talk to him & she disappeared in thin air. Or maybe it was his mind that created that familiar voice and among all the loud chants & arti, it was his mind screaming out the loudest, telling him to let go.


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Ankita <3

0 Replies to
Chapter 4

  1. Impressive! Loved reading it.

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