Music Playlist: Hold Me Tight, I Am Falling Apart


I hope you all had a great Christmas. I hope you are enjoying the holiday season and are feeling loved & home 🙂 Eat a cake from my side please.

December has been a tough month for me. My depression episode has lasted for too long this time and it completely drained out my energy. Most of the times, I have rolled myself in a blanket roll and didn’t move much. And I completely lost my appetite when I came across the news of Kim Jonghyun passing away. Kim Jonghyun was the lead singer of k-pop boy band Shinee. He was battling against depression, he used to (was made to) feel worthless. He tried seeking help but it only worsened his case, thanks to ignorance of people. On 18th December, he decided to take away his life & succeeded.

Rest In Peace Kim Jonghyun


As someone who could relate to his music, the songs he wrote, I felt completely lost after learning about this. But I was feeling lost mainly cos’ I still struggle with the feeling of worthless, like I am not good enough. I have to do this & that, go out of my way, move mountains even to be loved, respected or have friends (leading to my nature of being a people pleaser). It broke my heart to know someone so amazingly talented like him felt worthless. It broke my heart even more to realize that his music has helped me at some point of time but I couldn’t help him at all. Wish I could be there for him, I wish we fans could comfort him. Cos’ right now it feels like we lost one from the team, the team of us depressed souls.

Kim Jonghyun, Rest In Peace Kim Jonghyun

I am not sure if I am making any sense to you but that’s all I keep thinking these days. I am sorry if I am ruining your festive mood with this sad post. But I had to jot this down to let it all out and pay my respect to a lovely soul called Jonghyun. We will always remember you. Don’t you think we will forget you, you are forever there in our hearts. 

I have listening to these songs a lot lately and usually return to them whenever I feel like I am falling apart. These songs make me feel like at least someone understands the dark negative thoughts I am feeling even if people around me don’t understand me much.


Music Playlist: Hold Me Tight, I'm Falling Apart

Playlist includes:

Shinee – Tell Me What To Do

The Neighbourhood – Afraid

Lorn – Acid Rain

Evanescence – Bring Me To Life

The Rasmus – In The Shadows

Mansionair – Easier

Aquilo- Calling Me

GOT7 – Mayday

Sigma ft. Birdy – Find Me

Joyner Lucas – I’m Sorry

NF – How Could You Leave Us

SYML – Where’s My Love

Finding Hope – Without You

R I T U A L – Wouldn’t Be Love

Jackson Wang – OKAY

Hoobastank – The Reason

Maroon 5 – She Will Be Loved

Martin Garrix ft. Troye Sivan – There For You


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Ankita <3

67 Replies to
Music Playlist: Hold Me Tight, I Am Falling Apart

  1. Beautiful post! Happy holidays
    gros bisous

  2. It’s so sad. I appreciate you sharing your feelings.

  3. great post! Such a shame that Jonghyun had to end his life. Rip jonghyun 🙁

  4. I heard about this sad story… I’m feel so sad for it.

  5. It was so sad to hear about this. Thanks for sharing this great playlist.

  6. I’m so sorry that you’ve been feeling so depressed. It’s a terrible disease, and I’m wishing for a break in it for you soon.
    Thanks for the wonderful playlist…

  7. I am so sorry for such a young guy to take his life. I hope everything will work out for you

  8. Really sad story.
    That playlist is so cool!


  9. Cool playlist idea!

    With Love & Style,
    ♥ Amber

  10. My sister felt sad about this news.
    She is a k-pop fan.
    R.I.P to him.

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

    Much Love,
    Jane | The Bandwagon Chic

  11. Happy Holidays!

  12. I am sorry to hear about this. Life in general is tough. But during the holidays when everything is bright and shiny and you have a hole in your heart it is a struggle to get by. I hope that you are surround by loved ones and that you remember to do something nurturing for yourself. I am sending you a big virtual hug and lots of love and light.


  13. super nice playlist my dear

    have a nice day, kisses

  14. Well I’ve never heard of this singer, but it’s fantastic !!
    Just passing by to wish a Great Year 2018.

  15. So many early 00’s feels.

    xo | Cindy Elena

  16. What an incredibly sad post 🙁 My thoughts go out to his family and friends. Thanks for sharing the playlist with us.

    Laura xo

  17. I was also really shocked by the news.
    Shinee has been a kpop band I followed from the early beginning and it’s very upsetting to hear how much Jonghyun was suffering behind the scenes.
    I hope things change in the industry and also the general public’s opinions on mental illnesses.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. <3


  18. this made me feel so sad also 🙁 I love Shinee and altho he wasn’t my bias I feel terrible about such a loss. Hope you will stay strong and remember that there is always hope and that people love you

  19. Due to strict work schedules, it’s usually impossible for idols to take care of themselves, I hope kpop industry makes changes after this unfortunate incident. I am listening to a lot of festive songs these days, will definitely go by your playlist in Jan 🙂

  20. Such a big loss… 🙁


  21. I have heard so much about K Pop! It has definitely got me curious about their music 🙂

    Jessica |

  22. I had a ok xmas hope u too! And yes December knows to be the very busy months I wish u all the best in NY!

  23. This is a sad story and I do hope that more people recognize and will help! Sending you love, I’m sure this is a tough time, but you got this! Wishing you the best in 2018!

  24. This is such a sad story! Depression is a terrible illness so it’s always best to get professional help! keep going and have a wonderful New Year!
    xo Yvonne

  25. Thanks for sharing all of these, I will have to check it out

    Happy New Year


  26. Depression is such a hard mental illness to cope with and so many times we don’t realize that people are dealing with it. Such a sad story about Kim Jonghyun!

  27. Great playlist, thanks!
    Have a lovely day 🙂
    Rosanna x

  28. karasclosetblog says: Reply

    I hope you’re doing better, and I’m sending you lots of love. And thank you sharing this playlist! x

    x Kara |

  29. Mile High Dreamers says: Reply

    Ankita this made my heart hurt! I’m so sorry that it’s been such a difficult month for you. I can’t imagine how hard it is to battle each day feeling like that. Thank you for being brave enough to share this though, since awareness about depression and suicide is SUCH an important conversation that needs to be opened up. I’m hoping that a little light returns to your life soon. We’re pulling for you girl!

    Susie |

  30. LindaLibraLoca says: Reply

    I am sorry to learn you have felt this way in December and I can relate to the passing of a cherished artist only adding to the grief. It saddens me that even today people don’t get the help they so desperately need, even if (or especially if) they are famous.

    Anne – Linda, Libra, Loca

  31. Me encanta el post, me parece super original! Además las fotos son una pasada.

  32. Nice playlist

  33. What a great playlist babe!! Wishing you an amazing new year!!



  34. Cielo Fronteras says: Reply

    What a great playlist! Thanks for sharing it! =)

    – Cielo
    Mermaid in Heels

  35. I’m so sorry to hear about this.. 🙁 I hope you are feeling better. Sending much love your way!

    Vivian x

  36. This is such a sad story- and I’m sorry your depression has been keeping you down lately. Sending you much love + good vibes! Happy New Year!

    Le Stylo Rouge

  37. That’s such sad news, and I can understand why it’s effected you so much when you’re struggling at the moment yourself as well. I really hope that 2018 brings you a little more happiness; please be sure to treat yourself with plenty of kindness over these months!

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

  38. he’s so young. so sorry
    The Glossychic

  39. I am really sorry you are living such difficult moments, and I am also sorry you have to face the death of a person so important to you but you should seek reasons to live, reasons to smile, reasons lo lagh and listen joyful music too.
    Hope the new year started well for you. Wish you a beautiful evening.

  40. This is amazing! Love this!
    Happy New Year!
    Much love, Len

  41. Heather Rowland says: Reply

    This is such a beautifully written, heartfelt post. I’ll definitely be giving that playlist a listen.

    Heather xx

  42. These news were so sad – I’m heartbroken also!

    xoxo, Vanessa

  43. Depression is still such a stigma back in Asia which is why I respect anyone who speaks up about it. Hugs, stay strong.

    Shireen⎜Reflection of Sanity

  44. This is so sad!
    I will definitely listen to your playlist. If possible can you make a Spotify playlist?

    xx- Nina

  45. This is such a sad story! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  46. The last time I listened to ShiNee’s songs, I was in high school and it was around their debut and when they sang the Boys Over Flower OST. In fact, I haven’t had any updates from them since then. But I felt really REALLY sad when I learned what happened to JungHyun 🙁 I hope this will be an aware how series depression is.

    xx Alyssa | STYLE VANITY

  47. Lovely playlist!
    She will be loved by Maroon5 is such a beautiful song!
    Agnese & Elisa

  48. I am so sorry to hear that. Please take care, reach out to family and friends. I was once there and found success in psychological treatment. I hope you do get help. There is hope with the right treatment. You must look after yourself. Take care xoxo Cris

  49. Great post, I like it 🙂

    new post

  50. Alessa Bernal says: Reply

    I love the music you choose! it happens!
    Please visit my Blog!

    Alessa Bernal

  51. I was really sad to hear about this news too, even though I haven’t really kept up with K-Pop. So unfortunate. I hope you feel better! Thanks for sharing the playlist.

  52. It’s really sad to hear famous people suffering this mental illness, the fame and the smiles are deceiving. I’m wishing you well for this New Year, I hope you can get support from those closest and nearest to you. Praying for strength and wisdom from above. I actually find your blog inspiring and refreshing, you write so well at your age. Keep it up!

  53. This is so sad. Depression is such a difficult illness and very hard for people to understand. Sending lots of virtual hugs – stay strong
    Julia x

  54. Awesome playlist babe!
    x Rubi
    Pose & Repeat

  55. Oh I’m sorry that things have been so hard for you lately! I hope that with the new year, things are improving for you? It’s always so sad when we see people that ‘have it all’ and horrible things like this happen, it shows that you never really know how someone is feeling and we could all be a little kinder, to ourselves and to each other.

    Happy new year. Hope that the first week of 2018 went well for you and that this week is off to a good start too!

    Away From The Blue Blog

  56. Holly (@hollyyolivia) says: Reply

    My sister really likes Kpop so I heard about JungHyun and it is so sad. I felt the same when Chester from Linkin Park ended his life, it is such an awful thing to deal with x

  57. […] I would like to thank you all for showering me with all your love and care on my last post, your kind words helped me a lot. It made me feel that there are people who understand how I feel […]

  58. I hope you have found some positive inspiration and are feeling much better. Surround yourself with things and people that fill your heart with love. Wishing you a fantastic 2018, and that you find a wonderful sense of happiness that outweighs the depression.


  59. Hello,

    So cute !


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  61. Nice!

  62. Wonderful playlist!


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