Does Self Love Means Being Selfish? + Valentine’s Day ’18 Outfit

Happppyyyyyy Valentine’s Day fam! βœ¨πŸ’• I hope you were surrounded by the ones who love you and you love! I hope you felt loved and were reminded that you’re important. If not, let me tell you I love you all with all my heart and you’re valued & are important to me! 😊😘❀ (Not saying all this to sound cheesy, I REALLY REALLY MEAN IT)

Lately I have noticed a lot of times that the art of self-love gets associated with being selfish. From quote pages to positive thinking speakers or writers, many of them would endorse the act of being selfish as a part of loving yourself. In fact in past, when I started to practice self-love, I too was lead to believe so. Now that I think about it, this thought process doesn’t resonate with me. I tried to understand from their point of view but I feel these 2 acts are very different.

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Photography – ashbeearts | Editing, conceptualization, makeup and styling – Ankita Bardhan

How’s self love and selfish behaviour different you ask?

Well… the very obvious one would be that the one act has a positive notion to it while the other has a negative notion. Simply put, self love is loving yourself, taking care of yourself, your health so you can take better care of your family, friends, relationships, work. Selfishness is simply caring about your being with no motive to care about others. While the act of caring about yourself might be same in both cases but it’s the intention that makes these 2 acts different from each other.

Another Point :-

Self love is making sure you’re not treated wrong, while being selfish is basically caring about oneself even if it means doing others wrong. Self love is making sure you don’t sacrifice your well being for others, while being selfish is being concerned only about your wishes even if it requires making other compromise. Did you notice it’s a very thin line? But they both surely are two very distinct acts, cannot be used as synonym.

Lastly…

Selfish behaviour will make you want to drag anyone who’s better than you down. While self love means you don’t require to compete with others & see who’s better, you only focus on your growth. Hence, you and everyone around you grow together in harmony.

I hope I was able to explain my thoughts clearly. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Btw I’m just realizing that surprisingly my Valentine’s Day posts has been about self-love, besides other self love posts I posted other times! Haha by the amount I talk about it, you might be thinking that I am some self love ambassador or something. But lol that certainly isn’t the case!

I still struggle a lot with loving myself. There are days when I hate myself, belittle myself. I am still at war with myself. But I’m still trying my best to learn to take care of myself. I mean I sure still suck even in basic care. Like for example since past 2-3 days, I have been working like a robot on my laptop to create content for my blog. And I get lost in work so much that I literally forget to eat, drink or even wash my face, whole skincare routine. My brother constantly has to remind me to eat, sip water. Let’s not even talk about sleep, the only time I’ve slept in these 2 days is when I got so exhausted that fell asleep with laptop on my chest while working! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™ˆ

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Photography – ashbeearts | Editing, conceptualization, makeup and styling – Ankita Bardhan

I am shelling out these embarrassing stories, just so you know that if you too are struggling… you’re not alone. We are in this together! And hey, as long as we don’t give up on ourselves and keep trying, I guess we’ll be fine πŸ™‚

I am sorry for such a long post but honestly, I’ve never been the one who can explain her thoughts in short, simple lines. Guess I’ve too much in my mind. Regardless, I am thankful that you always take the time to read what I have to say. I’m grateful how you all always show me love, care & warmth in the comments πŸ™‚

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Does Self Love Means Being Selfish, self love vs selfish, thin line between self love selfish, self love selfish difference, Ankita Bardhan, real girl talks, Valentines Day 2018 outfit, annie, black leather jacket, zara leather jacket, white floral maxi dress, pink choker

Photography – ashbeearts | Editing, conceptualization, makeup and styling – Ankita Bardhan

P.S. I’ve made someΒ cute Instagram stories for you all, don’t forget to check them out <3Β 

Thank you for stopping by… Do leave your comments! I love reading them πŸ™‚

Follow me on my Personal page, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Blogger πŸ˜‰

xx

Ankita <3

66 Replies to
Does Self Love Means Being Selfish? + Valentine’s Day ’18 Outfit

  1. WhatWouldVWear says: Reply

    Looking gorgeous and self-love is definitely not selfish! It’s all about loving yourself first before you can love someone else!
    Happy Valentine’s Day, babe!
    xoxo, Vanessa
    http://www.WhatWouldVWear.com

  2. Love your maxi dress! Looking so pretty!

    http://www.jessicabroyles.com

  3. That’s a compelling topic! Self love is quite the opposite of being selfish since it is probably the greatest love affair we’ll have in our lives that opens us up to being able to care for others. You look fabulous!

  4. Absolutely love reading your post, you put out your thoughts and feelings very clearly and I totally agree with you. We all need to learn to love ourselves before we seek love from others. By the way you look stunning in this maxi dress and leather jacket.

    Regards Ashon
    http://ashonfashionary.com/what-to-wear-and-do-on-galentines-day/

  5. Настя says: Reply

    That’s cool. I like your blog.

  6. Laura Marie (@lauramariescott) says: Reply

    An inspiring post and thanks very much for sharing! It’s so important to love who you are and do you know why? There’s only ONE of you and it’s important to make that version wonderful πŸ™‚

    You look stunning in this dress, a great match to go with a well written post.

    Laura xo
    http://www.shehearts.net

  7. jenniferpickering22gmailcom says: Reply

    Self-love and self-care are so important and definitely not selfish!! You look gorgeous!!

    Jennifer
    Effortlessly Sophisticated

  8. What a beautiful post!
    you look beautiful
    Gros biosus

    http://www.gallech.com/

  9. Hadasah Love | Style To Love says: Reply

    Absolutely in love with this!
    With love from Miami, Hadasah
    http://www.styletolove.com

  10. Lovely post! <3
    Beauty and Fashion Freaks

  11. Completely agree..and love how you have grown n evolved..

    1. Hey, thank you so much! Means a lot πŸ™‚

  12. laura mitbrodt says: Reply

    Your dress is so pretty, I love how you styled it
    xo
    http://www.laurajaneatelier.com

  13. I love your leather jacket over the dress, that’s gorgeous! I understand the issues with self love, it can always be misinterpreted. I think it depends on the receiver though as often people get offended by issues they have themselves.

  14. Fashion Charming says: Reply

    Cute outfit
    https://fashioncharming.wordpress.com

  15. The Style Contour says: Reply

    I love that you’ve distinguished the two because many do get them mixed up. As a wife and mother, I’ve come to REALLY value the concept of self-love. I’ve seen what the lack of it can result in. There have been times when I just didn’t do what made me happy or give myself some me time for a week and I noticed I was more grumpy and had less patience. On weeks that I lend more time to myself, I’m more at ease and so is everyone else in my home. It has such a huge ripple effect. Thanks for sharing and you look so beautiful; I love that leather jacket! I hope you’re having a great week so far!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    THE STYLE CONTOUR

  16. I think that you did a great job differentiating self-love and selfishness. Taking care of oneself is never a selfish act. One’s well being is always important. You look fabulous in this maxi dress. Love the feminine florals and edgy leather combo. Don’t forget to eat, sleep & stay hydrated πŸ™‚

    Xx
    Nikki

  17. I love how you said ‘self love’ doesn’t mean competing but focusing on ones own journey, true. You look pretty in that dress, X

    http://www.glitsxgrace.com/

  18. Lovely post! A lot of us forget to practice self-love, especially if we feel guilty doing so…I love that dress too! Perfect for Valentine’s Day!

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

  19. I love your look! Sweet yet edgy πŸ™‚

    xx Alyssa | STYLE VANITY

  20. Absolutely in love with your look, girl! Love how this maxi dress looks with leather jacket!

  21. Great post, I like it πŸ™‚ fantastic outfit πŸ™‚

    new post
    http://mensfashionobsession.com/

  22. Desires In Style says: Reply

    Great post and beautiful outfit! πŸ˜‰
    kisses
    Agnese & Elisa
    http://desiresinstyle.com/

  23. Cute post!, beautiful outfit!.
    xo

  24. Marisa Cavaleiro says: Reply

    You must love yourself, you’re so beautiful…
    xoxo

    marisasclosetblog.com

  25. Love this look! Amazing post!

    Mihaailo / mihaailo.blogspot.com

  26. rakhshandarizvi says: Reply

    You look so cute. I love wearing leather jacket with a maxi dress. Great Style.
    Kisses πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ
    http://www.rakhshanda-chamberofbeauty.com/

  27. Girl your styling is ON point!
    Nistha
    https://www.fashionistha.com/

  28. Gingi Edmonds Freeman says: Reply

    Ohhhhh, your outfit is just so lovely!!!! – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

  29. LindaLibraLoca says: Reply

    The line is very thin, and I don’t 100% agree with you in where you draw it but one thing is certain: Sometimes you have to be a little selfish to practice self love. And self love and care is much harder than you would think.

    Anne – Linda, Libra, Loca

  30. TheOneThatTravels says: Reply

    Love the look.
    xx
    https://theonethattravels.wordpress.com/

  31. Self love is very important! Such a pretty dress πŸ™‚
    xx
    http://www.lambassadrice.com/

  32. Nothing wrong with self-love! You need some self-love to get yourself going sometimes. Gotta take care of yourself before taking care of others. I agree with your points! I feel like a lot of people; myself included, are at war with ourselves. However, it’s a battle we face and conquer :).

    Love your outfit!

    exquisitely.me

  33. Heather Rowland says: Reply

    This is such an interesting post about self-love and so completely relatable! I love you outfit too – that dress is gorgeous!!

    Heather xoxo
    https://www.hefafa.me.uk

  34. I love your dress!!
    Have a great day!
    La ilusiΓ³n de Nina – http://lailusiondenina.blogspot.com.es/

  35. I think you have to love ones self first before you can truly love others properly. I adore your dress by the way and you look amazing in it!
    xoxo
    Lovely

  36. There is a saying β€œ Before you love others, you must first learn to love yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. Just keep it balanced and positive.

    StyleSprinter Blog by Katya Bychkova

  37. Such a lovely outfit! I like the dress. I think that self-love is important and it doesn’t mean that I’m selfish, I just feel like if I won’t love myself who will? I literally hate all the pages that are all about quotes and motivation. The act of caring for myself doesn’t mean that I do not care for other people but focusing on others and not caring about myself is also bad πŸ˜‰

  38. Very tue. The forever love we all crave for is loving yourself, once you get there. Life looks easy and happier.

    http://www.rshanphonsi.com

  39. Love your point about self-love being about growth and all things positive (eg. helping others rise too), that’s a great point to draw from self-love! This is a lovely Valentine’s look on you babe πŸ™‚

    aglassofice.com
    x

  40. Perfect Valentines Day outfit πŸ™‚

    http://www.youthofthesun.com Xx

  41. Love the outfit and your thoughts! It’s something I have thought about before and finding the balance between the two.

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

  42. Elegant Duchess says: Reply

    I couldn’t agree more about self love and selfish behaviour, well written and explained. you look so cute, beautiful make up xx

    |Elegant Duchess|

  43. Such a lovely lovely dress sweetie! You look gorgeous <3 And I like the motto of this post! I think it's so important to make a difference between self love and selfishness – because it's definitely not the same at all! Showing love to ourselves is probably the most precious thing we can do for our happiness!
    xx, Carmen – http://carmitive.com

  44. Self love is always so important — and no, not selfish at all! Actually the exact opposite as you need to love yourself in order to give yourself to others. I love your beautiful dress too!

    xo, Jennifer
    http://www.publicistinpearls.com

  45. I think self love is really important too because often times it’s something we overlook, but it’s just as important to focus on yourself as others x

    Velvet Blush

  46. This outfit is so pretty and looks perfect on you!

    http://violettedaily.com

  47. dreamofadventures says: Reply

    You make great points! I think self care is very important, if you are taking care of yourself and everything is good then you can use the rest of your energy in helping and taking care of others =o)

    https://dreamofadventures.com/

  48. OMG, IΒ΄m so in love with your look, you look stunning beauty. Have a fab new week dear, love x S.Mirli
    http://www.mirlime.com

  49. That’s a really pretty Look!
    Hugs from Austria, Traude

  50. I don’t think that its selfish to love yourself. Its about doing what makes you happy first so you can love others. Because if you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others.

    -Didier
    http://www.didieryhc.com

  51. To me, they have always been different things, I don’t get why people would think you’re selfish if you love yourself.
    Always love the topics you choose!
    xx
    Ana
    http://www.anapicazzo.com

  52. Your look is awesome!! And I don’t think that self love is selfish, in fact, I think we all need to practice it more than we do!

    Andrea/

    https://justohana.blogspot.com.es

  53. I’m all for self love! Also, loving your gorgeous fringe bag, I need one like that in my life, hehe xx

    http://www.thatnewdress.com

  54. Self-love isn’t selfish! I think some people mistake narcissism with self-love. There’s nothing wrong with loving yourself. In fact, by loving yourself, you’re more capable of showing love and compassion toward others πŸ™‚

    Rox | Transcendent Light 🌱

  55. Such a beautiful dress sweety

    https://modernastrega.com/

  56. So beautiful! That jacket and dress look so cute paired together, I love it. And I totally agree with you. <3 Great post!

  57. hellohilloryrenkema says: Reply

    I don’t think needing self-love is being selfish at all! At the end of the day, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself so you might as well cherish it and put yourself first!

    xo,

    H

    http://firsttimethings.com/

  58. amazing look!! I really love this dress

    kisses dear
    http://www.aprendiendoaquererme.com

  59. Fashionably Idu says: Reply

    I am all for self love and don’t consider it selfish. You look amazing!

    http://www.fashionablyidu.com/

  60. Sonia De Macedo says: Reply

    I agree there is a huge difference with self-love selfish and selfish period. Putting yourself first is very different to purposely being narcissistic.

    Sxx
    daringcoco.com

  61. I agree with you, I think self love doesn’t mean being selfish at all. To me it means being good to yourself so that you can be good to others. When you put yourself first, you are happier and indeed it shows. It doesn’t mean you take from others or don’t give others love, in reality you give more because you have more to give. Great that you spoke of this, and I love your boho chic look! Hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day. :))

    xx,
    Tania
    https://inspiremyfancy.com/

  62. You are so pretty in this dress and self love don’t make anyone selfish.
    I wish I was more self confident sometimes.
    xx,
    Margot
    https://troughthepasturesofthesky.com

  63. HautePinkPretty says: Reply

    Love that pink velvet choker! xx HautePinkPretty

  64. Such a beautiful valentines day outfit!! Love your points about self love – so so important!
    xo, Allie
    http://www.champagne-tuesdays.com

  65. Marije van der Wal says: Reply

    Great look! I totally get your work ethic where you forget everything else. I too can work for hours and forget to eat. Good thing your brother is there to remind you you need to eat, drink and wash, haha πŸ˜‰

    Marije | thegfguide.com

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