Friendship Day For Loners – Importance Of Being Your Own Friend

Friendship Day For Loners – Importance Of Being Your Own Friend

 

If you’re a loner like me Friendship Day can be bit… difficult or a strange day to deal with. Even though you’re content with being alone, I know such occasions can make you feel lonely, especially when you don’t have friends around. But don’t you worry homies, I got you! ๐Ÿ™‚ These Archies & Hallmark occasions (to lure in more consumers & money), can’t bring us down! Nope not gonna let that happen to you on my watch!

Friendship Day For Loners - Importance Of Being Your Own Friend, how to be your friend, why to be your best friend, self love, love yourself, personality development, friendship day, Ankita Bardhan, Real Girl Talks, friendships day 2018

Friendship Day For Loners – Importance Of Being Your Own Friend | Makeup, Styling and Editing – Ankita Bardhan

 

Talking of loners, I’d like to talk about loners and the stigma attached to the word “loner”.ย Usually when someone is called a loner, they get associated with being depressed, being socially awkward, strange social retards/emo weirdos who don’t know how to have human interactions. This how mostly loners get pictured as! BUT LET ME BREAK IT YOU AMIGOS, it’s mostly not the case! I mean yeah sure one can be loner because they lack social skills or are depressed! But there’s a whole lot of population of loners who are this way just because they prefer their own company by choice! And that’s just about it! One can be great in socializing and still be a loner! Tbh I’ve seen a great percentage of loners who fit in here.

Loners are just people who prefer being alone cos’ it’s less drama! They would rather enjoy being engrossed in their hobbies like reading, writing, sketching, playing video games, thinking, taking pictures, cooking etc. than talking to people. Loners are the one of the very individualist people you’ll ever meet! They usually don’t fit in any groups or labels, they just have their own way of looking at things. And from what I’ve mostly noticed, loners usually are talkative, have a lot of thoughts in their mind but they prefer talking only when needed & to very few people.

Ok I feel this post will turn into a speech on misconceptions about loners haha! I guess I should talk about it in another post as there’s still SO MUCH to add!ย 

Importance Of Being Your Own Friend

This Friendship Day I want to talk to you about something important – being your own friend! Going through my blog posts you’d know I am someone who struggles badly with self-love and I’m in a process of learning to love myself. In this process I learnt two things that matter a lot when it comes to loving yourself – 1) accepting yourself the way you are, 2) being your best friend! These two are the essentials to love yourself fully, with no conditions.

Lil’ story time – so once I was having a random conversation with an elderly person. And all of a sudden she said something which hit me –

“Every one of us at some stage of life, will have to go through a situation where we’ll have no friends to talk to or around us. That is when you realize how for granted you took the bond you’ve with yourself.” And then she added, “That’s the saddest reality of our existence, there will come a time when everyone we love will leave us behind. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll leave the world before you experience that.”

Being very young and naive at that time, I didn’t get the depth of the words she said, but her words always used to make me think. Hence I still remember the words she said. And now, when I’ve took on the mission to love myself, I can fully understand how much weight her words carried.

For a long time in my life, I ran after people and seeked their approval, acceptance, love and validation. Appraisal from my friends, teachers, family, classmates, partner etc. mattered to me a lot. But it never gave me that feeling of fulfillment! I used to think I’ll feel truly happy & content when I’ll achieve the goals I’ve set for myself or the goals my loved ones set for me believing in my potential. But achieving my goals never made me feel fully happy. Why? Cos’ there will always be something or other you’d want to achieve, these targets will constantly keep changing. There’s always something new adding up to the list!

That’s when I realized running like headless chicken after one goal after another, won’t help.ย  Setting my self-worth to my achievements or to the approval & acceptance of people that matter to me, won’t ever make me feel completely loved! That wasn’t the answer!

After a lot of desperate soul searching, reading self help articles, philosophies, reading about people’s experiences …and remembering the words of that elderly lady; I realized I’ve neglected the most important relationship in my life. My relationship with myself was the most toxic relation I’ve had! I was never nice to myself. I’d say abusive things to me which I wouldn’t even dare to say to people I hated with a passion! I was my worst critic, my biggest abuser!

Can you relate to me here? Studies have shown most of the millennials indulge in this kind behaviour. And apparently, that is why most of are never satisfied, never happy with where we are, who we are!

It’s sad and funny how we had the source of feeling content with ourselves all along but we kept looking for it everywhere else, except within ourselves. Think about it how can we feel fully content and be at peace when we ourselves don’t accept us the way we are? Yes like everyone else, we too have the good and the bad. But why can’t we accept ourselves just like we accept our friends with their good & bad parts both?! Why don’t we love ourselves unconditionally, believe in ourselves fully like we do in our friends? Are we really that unlikable & unfriendly that we can’t even be friends with ourselves? No, I don’t think so!

Friendship Day For Loners - Importance Of Being Your Own Friend, how to be your friend, why to be your best friend, self love, love yourself, personality development, friendship day, Ankita Bardhan, Real Girl Talks, friendships day 2018

 

You Are Your Longest Relationship

Like it or not, you’re going to spend the longest time of your lives with yourself. And if you can’t be comfortable with being alone with yourself, it’s going to be a loooonngggg miserable life! No one & nothing can fix us, if we don’t fix our relationship with ourselves!

Do you remember as kids we could play by ourselves, talk to ourselves endlessly and still be happy & content? We wouldn’t need friends or anyone to be with us to have fun! And hence as kids, we were so comfortable with ourselves, enjoyed our own company, we rarely would care what others think about us. Insecurities? Never heard of her! And ALSO during our childhood we would make the purest friendships so sooo easily! That’s how much difference being your own buddy can make!

So do yourself a favor, start spending alone time with yourself. Start to enjoy, appreciate your own company. Start trying to be friends with yourself. So even if no one’s around you got yourself, a friend who’ll always be there for you!

 

Btw when I say be your own best friend, I don’t mean drop all your friends, if you’ve any. What I mean is to be your own friend first, before being anyone else’s. Because honestly how could expect yourself to be good at any interpersonal relationship or forming great bonds – when you can’t even bond with yourself comfortably?!

Now you must be like “ok I hear you Ankita, being your own friend is important but how do I become friends with me?” Well for that you’re gonna have to wait for another post as it’s already such a long post haha!ย ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

P.S. –ย Also I’m sorry for such a long post but there’s so much to talk about on this topic, I still feel like I’ve so much more to sayย ๐Ÿ’€ But I don’t wanna bore you all, so we’ll talk about it in another post soon!ย  ย 

Are you friends with yourself? Can you be alone by yourselves, can you eat alone or watch movies alone? Do you enjoy solitude without any distractions such as music, internet, video games, etc.?

 

Thank you for stopping byโ€ฆ Do leave your comments! I love reading them ๐Ÿ™‚

Follow me on my Personal page, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Bloglovin’ ๐Ÿ˜‰

xx

Ankita <3

 

 

55 Replies to
Friendship Day For Loners – Importance Of Being Your Own Friend

  1. I really, really enjoyed reading this post and I think there is a lot to learn, even for people who would consider themselves to have a lot of friends. I truly believe that having a great relationship with yourself is needed and SO beneficial in so many ways to help you grow as a person.

    Musings & More

  2. awayfromtheblue says: Reply

    This is such good advice, and so important too! We need to be comfortable with ourselves and do what makes us happy, whatever that may be! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Hope that you are having a great weekend ๐Ÿ™‚ We had a quiet one as we are all a little unwell from another round of winter bugs!

    Away From The Blue Blog

  3. Elegant Duchess says: Reply

    I couldn’t agree more with everything you have written and especially that a friendship with yourself is your longest relationship! this is so true and I never actually thought about it this way. xx

    Much love, xx
    Elegant Duchess
    https://www.elegantduchess.com/

  4. It’s so important to be your own friend first before finding other people to connect with. This is definitely a very important topic. Glad you covered it!

    http://www.fashionradi.com

  5. It sounds like what you’re describing in your first section are introverts!

  6. Good idea, good post Ankita

  7. Janet Harrison says: Reply

    Wow Ankita this is such a wonderful powerful post! Totally agree with you! I have always enjoyed my own company, I think its better in the long run to enjoy your own company rather than be dependent on others for companionship, of course, Iike you, I am not saying “ditch your friends” haha. But be your own friend first, is so important. Well written lovely! xx

    http://www.rediscoveringmystyle.com

  8. Hadasah Love | Style To Love says: Reply

    love it, awesome content as always!
    xx
    Hadasah
    http://www.styletolove.com

  9. Great advice! I have no issues being alone, it doesn’t bother me. I like alone time and do think of myself an as introvert. As I get older, and I’m a parent now things have been changing.

    Jennifer | Mrs Q Beauty

  10. This holds a lot of truth. Establishing a relationship with oneself is the most important relationship that someone could have.

  11. TheOneThatTravels says: Reply

    Beautifully written.
    Great post.
    Thanks for sharing.
    xx
    https://theonethattravels.wordpress.com/

  12. Very nice message and well written Ankita! Nice topic!
    Nistha

  13. You’ve listed some great advice in this post babe; it’s so true – we need to be comfortable with ourselves before we can truly appreciate the company of others! Hope you’re having a lovely week so far ๐Ÿ™‚

    aglassofice.com x

  14. kathrineeldridge1 says: Reply

    I couldn’t agree more with the sentiment of this post. Accepting and loving yourself is the first step to loving others as well.

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

  15. districtofchic1 says: Reply

    Such a beautiful post. Loving yourself first is the most important thing.

    District of Chic

  16. The Exclusive Beauty Diary says: Reply

    I really enjoy reading this post because I completely agree with you about everything what you write! I have the same situation in life, chasing friends, achieving goals and still not be happy. Then I start work at my relationship with me and I realize that I love to be alone, and do things that make me happy. My life completely change after that, because I choose how I want to spent my time and with who! I wish you beautiful week!

    http://www.exclusivebeautydiary.com

  17. Very real and very helpful post. We always have to remember we are our own best friend <3

  18. A relationship with self is definitely where it starts at. It sets the tone for any other relation. Great post Ankita and definitely educational. You’re such a beauty. ๐Ÿ™‚

    https://www.missymayification.co.uk

  19. Absolutely amazing post! Very great!

  20. Great post, and very true!

    Chloe x

  21. This is a wonderful post.
    We should be comfortable with people around us
    but we should first be comfortable
    with our own self.
    I have a lot of firneds
    but there are really times when I want to be alone
    and I enjoy it too.

    Ann
    https://roomsofinspiration.blogspot.com/

  22. Susie | Mile High Dreamers says: Reply

    Ahhhh I love ALL of this! That quote is amazing, what a wise woman :). And it’s so true. I’m definitely an introvert in that interacting with most people just leaves me feeling super drained. I love being by myself because it energizes me. I spent WAY too much of my life worried about what other people thought. Ironically, when I truly stopped caring and just loving myself, it became way easier to talk to people.
    Thank you for these reminders!

    Susie | http://milehighdreamers.com

  23. Nikki Living Life says: Reply

    Your posts always give me a lot to think about Ankita. Yes, there is so much to say about this topic. Thank you for sharing that quote from your conversation. I’ve discovered that the more connected I get the more introverted I become. Not sure if others can relate. I do enjoy my alone time and I think that regular doses of stillness is essential and healthy.

    Xx
    Nikki
    http://www.nikkilivinglife.com

  24. very nice Ankita Bardhan

  25. So true we are our worst enemies I also felt lost for many years because we seek approval from everyone else and forget to love ourselves. I wrote on my Instagram not long ago If you are looking for the person who will never let you down who will love you unconditionally who will someone to make you feel special that will love you and be there for you always – look in the mirror. Everything starts with you. Thanks for this beautiful post babe xoxo Cris
    http://photosbycris.blogspot.com/2018/08/broadbeach-in-style.html

  26. Wonderful post!
    Have a nice day!
    Gil Zetbase

  27. I very much agree with your words. It’s all true and I wish more people would get this instead of looking for outside approval in order to be happy.

    ANOUK

  28. oh girl, you’re so beautiful and sweet, i’m very respectful of the people who are beside me and i will always keep

  29. I absolutely agree! I think and tell often: “You come alone to this world and you will leave it alone. But the only person who is always with you are you.” Therefore, I really have the opinion that we should be very good friend with our own person – this belongs to the most important things in life! Beautiful pictures!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
    http://www.dressedwithsoul.com

  30. Sonia De Macedo (@soniademacedo) says: Reply

    I didn’t even know there was such a day hahaha! I think “loners” are at more of an advantage. The act of self love and to be comfortable alone is something most people depend on others for. And when they lose that, they crumble. Nothing is more important that to be able to be independent and support yourself when others aren’t there.

    Sxx
    daringcoco.com

  31. Andrea Barbieri says: Reply

    Such a great post Ankita!! I feel like these words apply to everyone, not just loners. We all need to love ourselves and be our best friends in order to be happier and also to improve our relationships with everyone else.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Andrea.

    Seize your Style

  32. You are wise beyond your years, Ankita!! Loving ourselves makes life so much easier and better.
    We are very much introverts too, yet I still love people. It’s just amazing how I need my loner time!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

  33. This is such a great post! I’ve felt like a loner a lot of my life. Thanks for sharing!

  34. Miguel Gouveia says: Reply

    Thanks a lot ๐Ÿ˜€

    so incredible post my friend!! This is true, without doubt!

    Miguel Gouveia / Blog Pieces Of Me ๐Ÿ˜€

  35. Very true, cool post โค

  36. ThestyleGalaxy says: Reply

    Great post.

  37. The Post Foodie says: Reply

    Love this and it’s so true. You have to have self love and respect before you can be there for others! Thanks for you great insights!

    Katie
    http://www.lavieencolor.com

  38. This is a wonderful post and the message is so important. Everything starts with self love and we also need to learn to be our own friend because sometimes that could be the only way we can help ourselves.

  39. Miki (@mikialamode) says: Reply

    You are so wise! I love your post focusing on self-acceptance and love and being comfortable being alone. It takes a really confident and self-aware individual to recognize this. I personally am an extrovert but even so, I love my alone time and choose to spend much of the weekdays working, working out and spending time for myself. ๐Ÿ™‚ Nothing is more important than self love and aceeptance. You can’t expect others to repect and love you if you do not first, right?. ๐Ÿ™‚ Great post babe. Enjoy your week!

    Xo,
    Miki
    http://mikialamode.com

  40. Lorna Raindrops says: Reply

    You look beautiful. I haven’t heard of friendship day before, but I think it’s great!

    Raindrops of Sapphire

  41. You are so speaking to me in this! This was such a well thought through post and I LOVE that quote!

  42. If you are attached to a fashionable woman, then you are already in love with her. Love her, love every little accessory. That’s why you fell in love with her.

  43. LindaLibraLoca says: Reply

    I am a loner, even though I am very good at socializing, and I have accepted that fact over the years. Being on my own is my way to recharge, especially now that with the kids I have constant company outside their bedtime.

    Anne|Linda, Libra, Loca

  44. one of the most important thins in life is to be comfortable with your own company! Thanks for this post!

    http://www.prettyinleather.net

  45. alimackin2013 says: Reply

    I am good spending time alone, but I also have a lot of long time friends. But wow friendship day, first it was Valentines Day…

    Allie of
    http://www.allienyc.com

  46. I couldn’t agree more! You are gorgeous! Loved this post. <3

  47. Desires In Style says: Reply

    Great post! Learning to love yourself first is the most important thing!
    kisses
    Agnese & Elisa

    http://desiresinstyle.com/

  48. When I donยดt have the company I like I prefer to be alone. I also believe that itยดs ironic but when youยดre in peace with yourself and enjoy your own company – people love being around you even more! lol Anyway loving yourself and enjoing your own company goes first!

    Have a great week!
    Anna
    http://atlifestylecrossroads.com

  49. So true! You have to love you for others to do the saem.

  50. Beautiful photos, dear! And I love the quotes!

  51. That’s a great post! Being our own friend is the first step in a friendship.

    xoxo,
    Jessica

  52. Surreal Serene says: Reply

    Such a great post lovely, you are your longest friend! <3

    Serene XO

    http://www.surrealserene.com

  53. Marisa Cavaleiro says: Reply

    Well i m loner too by choice. I m not anti social person but i enjoy a lot myself company.
    People seems to dont understand that but we have our way to live and we are happy people just we dont like to be mixed around with every people, in fact i m a very selective one.
    Have a lovely sunday
    Xoxo

    marisasclosetblog.com

  54. This is so on-point dear. Reminds me of Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” song. Thanks for the good read dear.

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

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